First, to Wordy wise. For the uninitiated sensible people who don't buy the Mail, readers add or take away a letter to/from a word to make a new one and then give a "hilarious" definition.

Joyce from County Antrim furnishes us with:

Stump Duty - New Labour tax on cricket matches

I'm guessing this comes from 'stamp duty'. My memory may have failed me, but that's not a New Labour tax...

A 'joke' now, from Mr Cohen of Liverpool:

June 15 1215. Magna Carter was signed. But how did King John spend the rest of the day?

*watches tumbleweed*